So as we begin this new week, my first week of unemployment, I offer up another song full of brain taffy. I'm a little worn out after this past week, so some more.. insightful songs will come later...
For now, just enjoy?
I didn't manage to get this up last night, I was too busy celebrating... However, this is the song for the last day of my week of change. On some days, some songs are hard to find. I know what I'm trying to say, but the right song takes a while to put my finger on. Yesterday, as I was leaving the bank for the last time, I turned on my car stereo, rolled down my windows and took a big deep breath... and this song came on. It fit like the perfect pair of jeans.
My eyes are open wide
And by the way, I made it
Through the day
I watched the world outside
By the way, I'm leaving out today
I just saw Hayley's comet
She waved..
Said why you always running in place?
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in the stratosphere
Tell my mother, tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance
I'm not sure why, but this song still strikes a chord with me. At that point in my life, I was trying to find myself, find my footing. And for all for the strength I was supposed to have, I was supposed to be a girl. It always felt like a contradiction, you want me to be strong, show my strength, but act like a girl. If I showed my strength, I wasn't being a girl? I found my footing and this song... I feel like that embraces it. It's a good song.
"Strong inside but you don't know it
Good little girls they never show it
When you open up your mouth to speak
Could you be a little weak"
"Hurt that's not supposed to show
And tears that fall when no one knows
When you're trying hard to be your best
Could you be a little less"
So to continue the theme this week... This song represents me hitting the bottom of my despair. I felt very alone, very broken, very sad.
Alone I Break - Korn
Now I see the times they change
Leaving doesn't seem so strange
I am hoping I can find
Where to leave my hurt behind
All the shit I seem to take
All alone I seem to break
I have lived the best I can
Does this make me not a man?
Shut me off
I'm ready, heart stops
I stand alone
Can't be on my own
I will make it go away
Can't be here no more
Seems this is the only way
I will soon be gone
These feelings will be gone
These feelings will be gone
This particular song was central to my misery during the last few weeks in California. I didn't know if the decision I was making was really right, how I really felt about my significant other, or what I should do about any of it. This song really encompassed alot of what was going through my head at the time.
Here today, gone today
Hurry up and wait
I'm never there for you or me
Can't you read the story of our lives
Death to me and life for you
Something isn't right
And I need some space
To clear my head, to think about my life
And I can't be alone
I just need some space
To clear my head, to think about my life
With or without you
We fight it out
We work it out
Give me some time to unwind
We fight it out
We work it out
Give me some time to unwind
I must confess
I'm falling apart
Breaking your heart
Crying with you on the phone
We're walking on thin ice
I hope it doesn't break
So I mentioned before that I could line out my life in songs, and this song is instrumental in that. When I was younger (21-22) I was going through a fairly rough time in my life. I felt very lost, very unloved.. and this album was very important to me. I connected with several lyrics. I was comforted by it. This song in particular was special to me.
"These,
Broken dreams are screams to me,
The difference I can't see,
The way you look and talk to me.
You curse at me I freeze.
The combination of lost control,
Loss of soul I wheeze.
Just give some ease to me.
I'm not so glad I met you.
It makes me want to go away.
Until you think its over.
I touch.
Yeah yeah yeah."
So I stumbled across this song yesterday, I don't remember where, but I thought the name of the band and the name of the song was ironic. Now that I've actually listened to the song, I quite like it! It's a very mellow song, but upbeat. I always like finding new bands, new sounds, and then sharing them. And this song has quite a "sweet disposition". :D
311 is one of my favorite bands, mostly because they offer such a chill, yet happy vibe. They're awesome live, nearly better that way than recorded. That's not something you can say about many live bands these days. And this song in particular, brings me a load of happy. Today was a fairly chill, very happy, if a little off day, and I thought this song was fitting.
Ok, I don't know why this song is in my head today, but it is. Despite some irritation and frustration today, I'm happy. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, a new chapter in my life is coming. And at dinner tonight, this song popped in my head.
Today I'm mad. Mad. M A D. And so this song? This song is about that. (and it's a good video I think..) Highly sarcastic, very angry. Suits me right about now. Of course, this wasn't really the song I planned for today, however, it's fitting. Have some lyrics:
You're right, I get it
It all makes sense, you're the perfect person
So right, so wrong
Let's all live in your imaginary life.
